E3 2010

All your trade conventions are belong to us

G4 has a history of covering the Electronic Entertainment Expo, which makes it convenient for those of us who have actual lives.  This year was as spectacular as ever, with each developer giving decent (if very dry) press conferences, the highlight of which was Ubisoft, who managed to make it entertaining by enlisting Community actor Joel McHale to host.  I’m not the only one who has noticed, either.  Google it.  Would anyone have even remembered Ubisoft’s announcements without him?

As far as games, Nintendo really pulled something out of the red cap this year.  However, if you feel no nostalgia when you hear the phrases “Kid Icarus,” “Mario Party” or “Game Boy,” then it was probably nothing special for you.  If nothing else, Shigeru Miyamoto was amusing, strutting around stage with sword and shield as per his expected schtick.

Now, the coverage itself.  If G4 is completely dropping the lighthearted antics and charming characters in favor of a more didactic angle, they could focus on more than the five or six press conference blue-chippers.  I was expecting to see even brief segments on The King of Fighters XIII and Warriors: Legends of Troy (games that were featured at E3 but not covered by G4).  I mean, how many demos of Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood did we need?  How many times did we need to see the new trailer for Star Wars: The Old Republic, which A) has nothing to do with the game it represents, and B) everyone DVR’d or downloaded anyway?  

This takes nothing away from the correspondents, who had a tough week and did a nice job of keeping everything in order (other than Olivia Munn, who still can’t seem to read a Teleprompter yet can’t function without one).  The Feedback sessions were especially entertaining, wherein the fatigue was all too present, evidenced by Morgan Webb’s changes in clothes, Adam Sessler’s exasperated tone and tangents about baldness and sleeping.  Televised snafus were none-too-sparse either, with Alison Haislip being snatched around the neck by a booth-worker dressed as a zombie, who was very swiftly dealt with by security.  Bravo, Alison, for not breaking character.  

Without further ado, here’s a shortlist of the biggest games mentioned, and my reactions to each in five words or less.

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword– Maybe.

Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood – First time for everything.

Star Wars: The Old Republic – Leave Star Wars alone.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 2– I’ll play it, but grudgingly.

Classic Nintendo lineup– Excellent, but what next?

Playstation Move– Kitschy, inspired, fun. 

Microsoft Kinect- I have a Wii.

Medal of Honor– Flogging a dead horse.

Call of Duty: Black Ops– Obligatory cash cow, worth nothing. 

Ghost Recon– McHale’s comments funny, game lame.  

Dead Space 2 – Action Departure?  Worth a shot.

Killzone 3– /snore/

Bulletstorm– Only appealing shooter I’ve seen.

Castlevania: Lords of Shadow– I like the medieval thing.

Final Fantasy XIV– If I liked MMO’s, maybe.

Gran Turismo 5– I own a real car.

Shaun White Skateboarding– Cool concept/spokesman, but novelty.

Metal Gear Solid: Rising– Faith in Hideo, but Raiden?

Sonic the Hedgehog mix– Good fun for the newcomers.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Armada of the Damned– Bad title, potentially fun.

Tron Evolution– Movie game with some potential.

Nintendo 3DS– Amazing technology, incredible achievement.

Rock Band 3– Won’t teach you to really play.

Gears of War 3– Giant ugly women now? C’mon.

The King of Fighters XIII- May be the best yet!

Goldeneye 007– Leave well enough alone.

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge– A favorite series; can’t wait.

Lucha Libre– Finally, AAA gets a game.

Fable III– Hopefully cooler than Peter Molyneux.

Sims 3: Nice trailer, but reality’s better.

Olivia Munn– You choked on a mint.